If you’ve ever fantasized about having sex with more than one partner at a time, you aren’t alone: According to new research, group sex is the most common sexual fantasy for Americans.
For his new book, “Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life,” Kinsey Institute researcher Dr. Justin Lehmiller surveyed more than 4,000 Americans between the ages of 18 and 87.
As part of the 350-question online survey conducted over two years, he asked about their favorite sexual fantasy. And, get this: Group sex “was by far the most common theme to emerge,” he wrote in the book. “More than one-third of my participants described it as their favorite fantasy of all time, and when asked if they had ever fantasized about multipartner sex before — not just whether it was their favorite fantasy — the vast majority of both men and women agreed,” he said
Marriage and family therapist Paul Hokemeyer, Ph.D., isn’t the least bit surprised by this new research. “The findings by Dr. Lehmiller indicate what we’ve known for centuries — that human beings are social creatures who thrive in a community, yes, even a sexual community of others,” he tells LIVESTRONG.COM.
While he believes we have evolved over time, he explains that these desires are at our core. “Sure, we’ve made huge advances as a species. We dress up nicely and adorn ourselves with material trappings, but at our core we’re animals who are driven by a primal need to be emotionally validated and physically pleasured. Sex in a group exponentially increases our chances of getting these needs met.”
According to Dr. Lehmiller, just 5 percent of men and 13 percent of women said they hadn’t fantasized about group sex at all. “In other words, group sex is perhaps the most normal thing there is to fantasize about because almost everyone has been turned on by the thought of it at one time or another,” he wrote. As for the specifics, of the people fantasizing about group sex, 89 percent are thinking about threesomes and 74 percent about orgies. Clearly, there is a lot of overlap going on, with a good chunk of people fantasizing about both.
And be well aware: Both sexes are fantasizing about multipartner sex. While Dr. Lehmiller does deduct that men are more likely to have these sorts of fantasies than women, he points out that “the majority of women reported having each of these fantasies as well.”
In case you are curious about the other sex acts that Americans are dreaming about, per Dr. Lehmiller’s research, rough sex, homoerotic sex and sex with fictional characters — no, not celebrities, but made-up characters like those out of comic books — were also on the list.
So next time you are embarrassed to admit that your sexual fantasies include more than one partner, just remind yourself that you aren’t alone. In fact, according to this study, you might be in the majority!
Read more: 12 Bad Things That Happen to Your Health When You Stop Having Sex
What Do YOU Think?
Are you surprised that so many people fantasize about group sex? Why do you think this is the case? Do you think these statistics are accurate? Let us know in the comments!